Hanging in there
By
As the title suggests, I’m just hanging in there. I’ll spare you the grim details of post-packing fallout, suffice to say that Mr 7′s teacher pulled me aside today and told me that he is going to fail his final evaluations because he has mentally shutdown following the packing up of our house. If anyone has any suggestions on motivating, building confidence and managing change when it comes to children… I’m all ears! In the absence of good parenting I have promised Mr 7 the Nintendo DS (game thingy) that he desperately wants if he works hard like he did before last Monday. I have been saying all year that it is too expensive and not possible but I hope the lure of the DS is enough to get him working again. I have informed his teacher of this incentive and asked that she remind him if possible when he is head down refusing to work. Terrible parenting but I’m desperate. It is heartbreaking to watch your child shutdown and risk repeating a year of school because they are not coping with the thought of leaving their friends and the only home they remember. Sorry, I meant to spare you the details…
Usually I keep my works in progress to a minimum. At the moment I’m suffering a lack of clarity when it comes to quilting designs but I’m pushing on and then procrastinating when I feel that the design I’ve gone with is not right. I was thinking the word “dream” in the above mini was too obvious but when I shared it on IG the clever peeps there suggested outlining it in black. I’m still procrastinating…
I’ve started a table runner for Mr 7′s teacher as a thank you/farewell gift. I loved it during the piecing stage. I’m worried I messed it up whilst quilting. I’ve probably quilted a 1/4 of it but didn’t grab a photo before the light went (and can’t find the charger for my DSLR, sorry for the ipad pics!) so here it is pieced.
The other main piece I am working on is a custom order, a Butterfly quilt based on a cot sized one I made a few weeks back. My wadding arrived today so I hope to baste it tonight (although crying into my wine is more tempting!).
I’m using fusible adhesive and raw edged appliqué and I love all the pink on the grey. Quilts like this make having a large stash a lot of fun. My customer had a great time going through all of the pinks and putting together her picks
I’m linking up to Work in Progress Wednesday at Freshly Pieced. I’d love you to pop back tomorrow and link up to my Quilting Process linky <3
Julia in Mississippi
November 13, 2013 at 8:45 pm (5 months ago)I love your modern take on the table runner. And the mini rainbow is marvelous. The stitching is awesome.
ReplyJoanna
November 13, 2013 at 10:03 pm (5 months ago)That table runner is amazing. I’m loving those triangles!
Replyamy
November 14, 2013 at 12:20 am (5 months ago)Oh that table runner will be super!
ReplyDebbie
November 14, 2013 at 12:47 am (5 months ago)So sorry life is so difficult lately! Hoping your desperation parenting encourages the little guy! Love your table runner – can’t imagine you’ve ruined it!!
ReplyRenee
November 14, 2013 at 1:34 am (5 months ago)That butterfly quilt is going to be amazing! Wish I had some solid advice on how to deal with your son. Are you able to spend any one on one time with him each day? I know that helps my son.
ReplySara
November 14, 2013 at 2:00 am (5 months ago)Sorry to hear about you having to move. We were almost in the same predicament with being in the military and all. BUT we were blessed with orders to stay here another 3 years. I hope everything works out for your son as I imagine it is really tough on the poor guy. YES hang in there and it will get better;)
Gosh I ADORE the butterfly quilt dearly and the table runner your son’s teacher will love if she is sane!!
ReplyLindsey @ InspiringCreations
November 14, 2013 at 2:02 am (5 months ago)Really love all of those butterflies! Can’t wait to see how this turns out.
ReplyRebecca T
November 14, 2013 at 3:30 am (5 months ago)Your stitches a re awesome!
As to motivating your kiddo, go for the DS! But to help him see he’s earning it, have teacher give him a sticker or some type of representation for his efforts through the day. Break the day up into 3-4 intervals, for example. If 7 is working hard, he gets a sticker. At the end of the day, he brings home the card with the stickers he’s earned and you transfer it to an overall meter (you could do a thermometer, a cup of marbles, where each marble equals a sticker, etc…). Have a final amount or goal he needs to reach so he can actually see how his effort is working him closer to his DS! I know with my own 7, the more concrete the result of her effort, the harder she works to her goal. (Just make sure the counters you use aren’t removed as punishment for things around the house… He’s working on school behavior
HTH!
ReplyCaroline
November 14, 2013 at 3:56 am (5 months ago)I’m looking forward to seeing your butterfly quilt progress!
Replyhydeeann
November 14, 2013 at 4:06 am (5 months ago)poor mama and little fella! moving is hard on everyone.
but your projects all look so pretty! there is sanity in your life somewhere after all.
ReplyDeb Quilts
November 14, 2013 at 4:10 am (5 months ago)I have used rewards with my youngest because he is one to not ask for much. I tried to put together programs like Rebecca above so he could see it when he was younger. The last one a few years back was to help with his picky eating – I paid him a dollar just to try something new and $5 if he learned to eat one of our normal meals (I was tired of being a short order cook every night!) towards some new Nintendo he wanted. It worked wonderfully and since then he has become much more open to trying new foods. Win!
ReplyGwendellyn
November 14, 2013 at 5:51 am (5 months ago)As someone who grew up a Marine Corps brat and moved every 4 years if not sooner, I personally can say that it gets easier when you know what’s on the other side. They’re probably just scared at the uncertainty of everything. Even though the hurt at losing friends or the life you’ve started growing into never goes away with each new move, adjusting to a new place is something that you learn to do and eventually learn to love. I think for me, moving after middle school was the hardest since it was an age when your friends become part of your support system, and you look towards high school or your future together. It was much, much easier to deal with when I was younger. It was more like, new friends to meet, a new school to discover.
One thing that stood out to me when I read your previous post was that you had the house packed up while they were gone…I think that might’ve not entirely helped. I think for me, part of moving was packing everything up, and knowing that you’ll see it again in however much time. If packing is a slow process, you also have more time to understand it, you know? I think it might’ve just shocked them to see it all barren and empty; honestly as an adult that would sort of shock me, too.
Maybe instead of just incentives in the short term, try to give them things to look forward to at the new place. My anxiety or fear was always, always overshadowed by excitement to just get out there and do …whatever it was, haha. My parents and I would look through guidebooks together, and pick out places that we wanted to visit, or learn something about the history of the new city/state. My mom would scout out libraries or parks beforehand so we could go out right away and do something very normal and everyday, even though it’s a new place. Things like that – it’s hard right now but getting prepared like that is another way to go through the process more slowly and not have a huge shock to your system all at once. Hope that makes sense!
If you have any questions or whatever, want any advice etc, from someone who’s been through it all, let me know…I hope I haven’t stepped over any bounds, I don’t have kids or anything, just the perspective of someone who was one in this situation many times c:
ReplyVera
November 14, 2013 at 6:53 am (5 months ago)I’m in love with your projects. Beautiful! Hang in there!
Replycath
November 14, 2013 at 7:09 am (5 months ago)Oh that butterfly quilt is going to be gorgeous.
ReplySharon Dawn
November 14, 2013 at 8:57 am (5 months ago)Sometimes a little bribery is magic, and sometimes you have to do whatever you can to help the little ones. It isn’t a lack of, maybe more of a “learned” parenting skill ;0) Best of luck!
Your quilts are looking great!
ReplyChrista Quilts
November 14, 2013 at 1:22 pm (5 months ago)I love all these projects – so colorful and fun.
I’m so sorry you are having a stressful time dealing with your son and school. You won’t want my advice. My drastic solution was to pull my kids out of school and homeschool them, LOL!!
ReplyLorna McMahon
November 14, 2013 at 6:14 pm (5 months ago)Hang in there… This too shall pass. Praying for you and yours.
ReplyLove the triangle quilt in progress.
Anna
November 15, 2013 at 2:14 pm (5 months ago)Well I can tell you I was one of those kids when I had to move in about 4th grade. It was really early in the semester so I wasn’t in danger of failing though. I don’t have much advice to offer… I was a real pain in the butt to my mom until after we moved and I settled in and made new friends. :/ I hope the DS plan works!
But you WiPs are really lovely Love your choice of color!
ReplySarah
November 19, 2013 at 10:20 pm (5 months ago)I know it’s natural for a mum to worry and freak about such news from their child’s teacher, but as a teacher in Australia I would say not to worry too much about 7s not passing a final evaluation. Think of everything he has learned and progressed in over the year. Evaluating all that at the end of year 1 is not really fair. He probably wouldn’t have to repeat when he gets to Australia next year anyway. Most schools would wonder how old he is, how many years of school he’s done, and slot him in there. If YOU think he should do year 1 again, then do it, otherwise put him in year 2 with all the other 7 year olds. Hang in there. It’s tough being a Mum, I know. Minute by minute mate.
Reply